Black Butler - More Kitty Love

My Friend Z is Brilliant.

Some of the things my friend Z said on her own blog, addressing "fake" friends and such:

"Keep your drama to yourself, it's not wanted nor needed here. And if you have a problem because of something I said because I took a stand and voiced how I felt and I didn't sugar coat it or kiss no one's butt, then guess what, that's your problem, I'm not about to lose any sleep over it. And if I lose your friendship over it, then apparently you weren't a real friend anyway. Oh well. I promise the world will continue to rotate on its axis just the same as when you pretended to be my friend. Also, I'm loud, I'm verbal, I'm blunt, I'm aggressive. I don't hide my feelings. I'm not a rug, people are not going to run over me. My self-esteem is just fine and I have plenty of self-respect. If you don't like it, then what are you doing on my page or speaking to me in public? Cause I promise one thing, you will always know where you stand with me because I'm not fake, I'm not going to sugar coat things for just anyone. If you ask me a question, then you had just better be prepared for the answer that you may get, especially if I do not like you or have no respect for you or if you are my friend that is looking for my truthful opinion. I'm not going to live my life pretending to be anything that I'm not. If I hurt your feelings, then come to me and let's talk it out if you value our friendship because I'm going to let it be known if you truly hurt mine. But then again, there is probably only a handful of people that I respect enough to let their thoughts of me affect me in that way. And half of them are the ones that have always accepted me as me no matter what ever since I was little, so if you aren't in this group, careful where you tread. And you might want to go tend to your own faults and business before you go sticking your nose in mine. If you don't like any of that, then there is an "unfriend" button somewhere and don't pretend to like me or be my friend in public. Honesty may hurt but it always gets more respect."

ALL THE APPLAUSE. BECAUSE DAMN. SHE SPEAKS MY MIND. Except only I am nowhere near as aggressive as she is, except for when I make it known that I have been hurt multiple times by the same person and/or groups of people.
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Last of Us - Save You

To the Person I Unfollowed on Twitter...

I don't like to make a big deal over unfollowing someone on Twitter, however, I feel the need to explain my reasons to you even though you probably don't care. I need to say something that I feel you need to read, but whether you take anything from it in the end is your choice and not mine.

The Vampire Diaries is a television show, and while I am a fan, I do believe some people take it entirely too far, especially when it comes to "Stelena" and "Delena". As you can probably tell by my icon, I am more of a Damon/Elena fan, but I don't bash the Stefan/Elena pairing or the fans. It literally makes me nauseated to see all of these fans at each other's throats because of the pairing that they support. It makes me nauseated to see them flinging insults at each other and acting like children. Maybe it's because I'm about four years away from being thirty and my maturity level is higher. Maybe I've just seen enough of this crap to make me really, really bitchy and the fact that I am hormonal does not help.

I am unfollowing you because I have come to the conclusion that you contribute to the hatred. You put things on your Twitter account like this: "If DElena isn't endgame, I'm gonna cry and be depressed forever!" Not to mention all the "Delena consumes us" posts and the "DEal with it" posts. You also are quite repetitive on some days, posting the same thing every few hours with slightly different wording.

Now, you are entitled to your own opinion, and you are welcome to say whatever you like on your own Twitter account; I just don't like all the Stefan/Elena hate (and this is coming from a Damon/Elena fan), and I am pretty sure that Ian Somerhalder doesn't appreciate seeing tweets like "Can I blow your whistle, baby?" from his fans. For one thing, he is obviously in a very loving relationship with Nina, and for another, I know if I were in his shoes, seeing things like that from people I don't really know would embarrass me and make me feel uncomfortable.

I started following you on Twitter because it seemed like you had some good TVD information, and it's always nice to meet another Damon/Elena fan. Also, you post a lot of great Nina/Ian pictures. Really, though, one of the main reasons why I started following you was because after the season 3 finale, you posted for everyone to stop sending hate mails and tweets to Julie Plec. I thought that was really brave of you and I respected that immensely. I knew that there were a lot of people upset after the finale (myself included, though not to the degree of a lot of others--I certainly didn't send any hate mail J.P.'s way). I believed that you realized that being hateful is not the way to get through to an Executive Producer.

However, seeing that you've made yourself out to be quite the hypocrite has essentially become the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. I log onto Twitter today to find that you're doing the same exact thing that you advised others not to do a while back. You're saying hateful things to Julie Plec.

"'Damon gets a new love interest, not Stefan'. @julieplec DON'T YOU KNOW WE'RE FREAKING TIRED OF DAMON'S NEW LOVE INTERESTS?!?"


"@DamonsArmy exactely! JP needs to understand That we get agressive And rude! I mean c'mon We're waiting 3 fucking years!"

"@DamonsArmy i agree! If after 11 episodes it's still SE, i'm gonna stop watching i'm not kidding! I Will only watch the DE And Damon scenes"

"JP is ruining the show If she keeps going this way!"

"FUCK YOU JULIE>Julie denied rumours of Stefan getting a new love interest. She did however confirm that Damon will be getting one."

You also called her stupid. My god, what good do you think that's going to do? Yes, all of us Damon/Elena supporters are ready for some serious Damon/Elena interaction but seriously, bashing the Executive Producer isn't going to do anything except either upset her or make her laugh at the stupidity of her haters.

From what I understand, the show is about the love triangle between the Salvatores and Elena. Even though Stefan/Elena is the main pairing at the moment, it's obvious that Elena can't quite bring herself to let go of Damon, either. So, yeah, while some fans are getting fed up over what's going on, I'm still holding onto some hope and still enjoying the show.

You posted on Twitter a few days (perhaps a week or so) ago, saying that your unfollowers suck, and you wondered why people would unfollow you. I'm being respectful enough to let you know why I am unfollowing you. I just can't handle any more immaturity.


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Death Note - Angry Smash

Long-Ass Rant

This is an entry that I am neither placing under a cut nor friends-locking. If I step on someone's toes, frankly, I don't give a fuck. This is my journal, and I'm going to fucking speak my mind. I will sometimes refrain from doing that in order to "keep the peace" and in order to keep from causing conflict, because I hate conflict. But you know what? I've gotten so pissed off thinking about all of this. Even after I spilled my guts and my heart out the other day, it still apparently wasn't enough. Especially after this nice little thing I keep seeing on tumblr that people are reblogging like it's just the most wonderful and coolest thing to say ever.

I do not tolerate ignorance. I am the type of person that believes in equal rights--I think that homosexual couples should be able to get married. I do not judge a person based on race, ethnicity, or sexuality. I do not think the rest of the world should either, but there are and always will be idiots out there who do just that. Yes, I am very thrilled that some states are making gay marriage legal, and I think it should be made legal in all the states. Hell, I think it should be made legal everywhere and I think it should be recognized by each country's governing body as a sacred and loving union, just as they recognize marriage between a man and woman. I am completely for gay marriage.

I have come to realize something, though. There are obviously some people in the gay and lesbian community who are just as intolerant and ridiculous as homophobic assholes. I realized this the other day when I was browsing through tumblr and saw something to the effect of: "Maybe we should make straight marriage illegal. It doesn't seem to have a very high success rate." And people were fucking applauding this, like it's a genius idea. While I do not agree with oppressing homosexual marriage, I sure as hell don't believe that straight marriage should be made illegal. How stupid is that? Are there people that really fucking believe this?

A few things come to mind when I think about that:

1) This clip from The L Word. Right at the very beginning, when they're talking about judging people:

2) I can think of several straight marriages that have and are succeeding. While my own mother and father do not make that list (they aren't divorced but might as well be... I'm not getting into that right now, though), there are a lot of others who do. How is that for success rate?

3) Some of the main reasons why straight couples get a divorce? Infidelity. Money issues. Lack of communication. Do you honestly think that homosexual couples don't face these same fucking issues? Hell, with my first girlfriend, I dealt with two out of three of those reasons I just listed. Same. Fucking. Issues.

Sometimes people claim to fall out of love. Sometimes people just get together for the wrong reasons. This happens with homosexual couples just like it happens with straight couples. And before you go asking me how I know this kind of shit, I'll let you know that I have very few straight friends. So don't say that I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

I am of the firm belief that when two people love one another and are genuinely willing to make a commitment to one another, and they work well together, then they should be able to get married. Fuck sexuality. Fuck race.

I don't see how a person can be all, "Yay, straight marriage!" and "Boo, gay marriage!" But I surely don't see how a person can be all, "Yay, gay marriage!" and "Boo, straight marriage!" either. What kind of fucking sense does that make?! How can you fucking expect equality and respect when all you're doing is being as fucking judgmental and bigoted and ignorant as those homophobic jerks you're fighting against? Heterophobia does not trump homophobia. They're both disgusting.

If two people (regardless of race or gender or whatever else you want to throw in there) can get married and be happy, it's a beautiful fucking thing, and nobody has any goddamned right to take that away from anyone!!!!!!!!!!!

Another thing that has been bothering me lately is this: Because I'm married to a man, apparently I am now considered a "straight" woman. While there is nothing wrong with heterosexuality, I am not, will never, and never have identified myself as heterosexual. I am a bisexual woman with a preference for women, and being married to a man does not change that. Do you think that it negates all my past relationships with women (more than I've had with men, I can tell you that)? Hell no. Do you think it makes me any less attracted to women? Hell no, it doesn't. My husband knew this before he married me, and he was and is fine with the person that I am.

Also, my relationships with women were not fucking "experiments". I'm not a goddamned scientist, and I'm not fucking "bi-curious". I deeply cared for every woman I have ever been with, no matter how short or how long the relationship.

I'm sick of comments like, "Oh, you're married to a guy, so you don't have anything to worry about. Nobody will think you're 'weird'." What the actual fucking fuck? This doesn't change who I am. It doesn't change the fact that I have to hide part of who I am from some other people.

I'm also sick of apparently being labeled as a bad person because of my sexuality. Apparently, according to some lesbians, a bisexual girl can fuck them over worse than another lesbian. Well, guess what? I've been fucked over by both bisexual and lesbian women and neither one hurt more than the other! I think that if a lesbian woman turns away from dating a bisexual woman just because of the bisexual woman's sexuality, then that's her decision, but I believe she'd be missing out on a chance to be happy as well. I can say that the bisexual women I've been with? For the time that we were together, we were happy. If I were single and a bisexual woman wanted to date me, would I turn her down based on her sexuality? No. If I were single and a lesbian woman wanted to date me, would I turn her down because of her sexuality? No. Because I love the person, not their preference of gender. Hell, I'm sure all of us have even fallen for a straight girl at some point or another, or had a little crush. Yeah, that shit happens too.

If a bisexual girl isn't "into girls" enough for you, I think there's something wrong, there. I think that if a bisexual girl is willing to "go there" for you, then you should be willing to do the same for her. Don't be scared just because she's also attracted to guys.

Some girls seem to think that they can't "compete" with a cock. Excuse me? When was it ever a "competition"? When two women have sex, sometimes they use a strap-on, and yeah, that's nice. But really? A lot of women can't seem to orgasm from the act of penetration alone, which is what both strap-ons and cocks do. They penetrate. They don't really offer clitoral stimulation, which is what most women need to reach orgasm anyway.

Oh, but a man can give a woman babies. Ugh. A woman can also give a woman babies. Maybe not in the "traditional" way, but she and her partner can get sperm from a sperm bank, and she and her partner can insert the sperm during lovemaking. After that, it all depends on sperm motility and the fertility of the woman who is choosing to carry the baby. Yeah, it happens pretty much the same freaking way.

There are girls who will say, "Oh, I've been hurt too much by bisexual girls." Oh, like a lesbian has never hurt you? Like you've never fallen for a straight girl and she didn't hurt you? Do some people honestly think that whatever person they decide to be with (man, woman, whatever) will never hurt them? Newsflash: when you fall in love, there's always a risk of getting hurt. I don't care who you are with. But that is all part of the game. You can risk it and you can go for it, or you can be a coward and be alone.

I've been hurt by women (bisexual and lesbian alike), and I've been hurt by men as well. It certainly didn't stop me from trying. It certainly didn't "turn me off" from women or men. But I guess that's just me, and I sure as hell can't speak for anyone else.

I know that I have hurt partners of mine in the past as well, and I am deeply sorry for the hurt that I caused. However, it surely wasn't because of my fucking sexuality. There were other issues, and some of my exes (who are still my friends) can certainly attest to that.

If someone doesn't like me because of who I am... if someone doesn't like me because I married the person who accepts me as I am and always has (who loves me unconditionally, who makes me laugh when I don't think I can, who cuddles me when I need to be comforted)... if someone doesn't like me just because the person I am referring to is a male, then all I have to say is FUCK OFF. You don't have to fucking like me, and if you can't respect me, fuck you.

Before you go judging me for the person I am, you take a look in the fucking mirror.
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Last of Us - Save You


There are some really fucked-up people in this world, and that's all I really have to say.
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Portal - Chell and POTATos

Happy Belated New Year

Public entry just because I feel like it. I have my reasons for "feeling like it". XD

I hope you all had a lovely New Year. I rang it in with my beloved, although on New Year's Eve I was dealing with some rather unpleasant things from other people. Backstabbing, for one. A lot of hurt, but Jeremy made the day better. :) New Year's Day was full of even worse bullshit. Let's just say that I found out someone whom I believed I could trust and whom I cared for very much had been telling lies about me behind my back. Needless to say, I went to work that night without much sleep at all and I still feel sick over the whole thing. I'm still hurting, and I want to beat myself in the head for letting myself trust that person, for believing that that person gave a shit about me and my feelings and my friendship.

I pretty much lost my best friend around this time last year--she decided that she was tired of pretending to be happy for me, and she decided she couldn't stick around any longer even though she'd been my best friend for fourteen years. Yes, that still hurts. The irony is that the "friend" I mentioned above told all those lies to her, and she caught him in the lies. I was informed of it, and I honestly do not believe he's sorry for lying about me or hurting me, or lying to her. I think he's sorry that he got caught, and that's it. You see, the two of them apparently have a lot in common, and their relationship was heading towards the "romantic" sort of stage, I guess, but then he lied to her about me. I hope for her sake that she's walked away from him as I have, because he's just not worth it.

There are a couple more people this past year who have apparently decided that I am no longer worth talking to, and don't really reply to anything I have to say. Oh well. I guess I'll move on from that too.

I have reconnected with someone this past year, though, and it has been nice. <33333

And most importantly? Come the end of March, I'll be married to the best, sweetest man in the world. Ever since we became official, it's just been... I can't even describe it. We're so comfortable with one another and it's not like this silly "honeymoon" stage that people talk about. Because we've known each other for so long, he really gets me and I really get him. What we have is precious and beautiful, and I just wish everyone could experience this feeling.

I'm so nervous about moving out of this house. I know I cannot stay here forever but I will miss my Daddy and my sister and Fred (my dog) and Lizzie and Lilly (the cats) and even the goats something fierce. I'll miss venting to my mom about work every morning I come home. I'll miss walking with my sister. I know I'll be in Warner Robins and it's only an hour and fifteen minutes away but I wish we could just live closer. :( Unfortunately, Jeremy is in the Air Force and they require him to live within so many miles from the Air Force Base. It's going to be a big adjustment and I'm probably going to be terribly homesick for a bit, but you know... he'll be there beside me, helping me the whole way. Even though I'm nervous, I'm so excited to be taking this step with him. I know I am exactly where I am meant to be.

May this new year bring happiness to all of you~!
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Black Butler - Ring

Cos I feel like it

One of these again. You can post anonymously if you so choose:


Sometimes, there just aren't enough words to convey how bad a night at work has been. I'm still exhausted from Tuesday. :( I ran my legs off between my dying breast cancer patient and my patient with pancreatic cancer, whose new PEG tube was pulling back nothing but old, brown blood. Nevermind that she was also throwing up that old, brown blood, and that I had an admission and four other patients to deal with as well. Yes, I left work late. And they wanted me to come in at midnight last night and take a patient in the unit. Yeah, that wasn't happening.

Jeremy came to see me yesterday, though. It made my day. :D
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Black Butler - More Kitty Love

Will Write Drabbles!

So, since I have finished the VK fanfic and am not really ready to write for FMA Fic Contest again (OMG I have been writing too much FMA lately), I am taking drabble requests! Give me a fandom, a pairing, and a prompt, and I will write a dribble for you. Just please be patient. XD I work the next four days and then have to get ready for Crystal's wedding, so it's going to be nuts here.

You guys should know my fandoms by now. I haven't written final fantasy in forever but I COULD give it a shot. I am new to Black Butler, but I could give that a shot as well. I have written fic for Kingdom Hearts, Inuyasha, Loveless, Fullmetal Alchemist, and most recently, Vampire Knight.

I WILL NOT write fic for the JRock fandom OR the Tokio Hotel fandom. That ship has unfortunately sailed.

If you want to ask about other fandoms, feel free! <3
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never will be, KH - Never was

what the hell

Yes, this is a public entry.

She never uses livejournal unless I bug her about it. But tonight, after I tried to get in contact with her via email, and after leaving yet another voicemail because she refuses to answer the fucking phone...

I find that she's changed her profile on her LJ, and she's taken me off of her friends list.

Yeah. I don't even know how to respond to that. I guess there's no point.
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